THE 7 MOST IMPORTANT STEPS YOU CAN TAKE TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE NOW
Most people believe you shouldn't have a stuffed lion in your house.
That's why I want one in mine. I want to display it in front of a big window so other people can look in and ask, "Why does that guy have a stuffed lion in his living room?" I like the judgment that would come with it. I want it to be a reminder to ignore the opinions of other people. To challenge the opinion of what's considered "right" and "wrong." Haven't you seen my very opinionated critical thinking exercises on social media?
It's been my observation that most people live within the confinements of other people’s thinking. They live in a mental cage with walls, ceilings and floors architecture crafted by the opinions of others.
This is how most people think...
If everybody's doing it - it must be the right thing to do.
If everyone in my peer group is believing, it must be right.
If nobody's doing it - it must be the wrong thing to do.
Their notion of truth is what most people believe. They don't think for themselves and their decisions are guided by the invisible hand of public opinion.
How do I know this?
Because this used to be me.
For much of my life I listened to the advice of other people. I guided my decisions by the opinions of others and the generally accepted versions of right and wrong.
Here's what most people told me:
Go to school, go to college, get a corporate job, work your way up the ladder, save, get married, then buy your first house, and when I recommitted by life to Yeshua (Jesus), they added, get close to God and finish your race well. Everybody I talked to gave me this same advice. My parents, friends, teachers, career advisers, pastors...
I thought "this must be it". This must be the right thing to do.
I went to college, used my degree for a short time in Public and Media Relations, was offered millions to work for a celebrity, said no. Then I got a great ministry job and did everything I was supposed to do and was chewed up by evil people claiming to be Christians.
My parents were proud of me, but concerned. My friends were happy I was on the same page as them until I took the "red pill" and wasn't (having degrees that train you to see through propaganda can do that). From a distance, many esteemed me very high on the success ladder because of the organization that spit me out, the writing, speaking, teaching, consulting, etc. Everyone opened their arms and commended me on my efforts, until I needed help. And then I rebuilt my life, and then it fell apart. Then I did it again, and again. And people looked at me saying, "What's wrong with you? Why does all this bad stuff keep happening? Are you a grifter? Can you be trusted?"
I didn't feel right either, looking for answers for year.
I felt like I was wearing a mask and living a lie much of the time, while not knowing what to do to support my family. Everything I tried seemed to fail.
When I put on the mask they wanted me to wear, they accepted me for building my life in their image. People congratulated me, people thought I was successful and I even ran a little ahead of the crowd. I was on their path...
But underneath the mask I knew my life wasn't all it was hyped up to be.
My life felt dull and soulless. I had no freedom, especially in my job. The people I worked for in several jobs in a row sucked.
My prayer life...sucked. I was going through the motions of "ministry" and business I felt empty inside. I couldn't ever please my bosses, no matter how hard I tried.
One day I looked around and thought "Is this really it?"
"Is this what the rest of my life is going to be like?"
"Am I going to raise my family under the influence of these horrible people?"
"Is this all God wants for me? To come to work and get beat up by my bosses every day, job after job?"
I had impressed everybody in my life except for myself (and my bosses). I had a mask that gave the illusion of success and happiness but not the real thing. It was perception, not reality.
I wondered where I had gone wrong. I listened to the advice of most people and none of it ever worked. I thought to myself:
"What if most people were wrong?"
"There has to be a better way."
This was the first time I questioned the public opinion and thought on my own.
I shared my thoughts with my wife. It took her a while to come around, but eventually she began to see what I was seeing.
I decided to quit my job and go my own way.
It was hard.
Very hard.
I started out trying to do what I was trained to do: minister to people, start my own companies.
We ended up going to food shelves, living on food stamps, taking low-paying jobs to buy diapers, since we'd run up all our credit cards and couldn't use them anymore, seeing our house go up for sheriff's sale.
I didn't realize right away that I needed to change the game, do something completely different.
I stayed that way for years.
Too many years.
The moment I chose to go against common advice, society drew down on me like a dark cloud. Everybody I knew doubted me, my parents and in-laws were in horror. It was as if I had committed a cardinal sin.
Two male relatives of my wife took me aside, separately, and read me the riot act about leaving a prestigious New York Non-Profit for...welfare?! One was a Christian, the other not. And then 10 years later, two of her female friends did the same, "What's wrong with you" speech.
I was diagnosed with PTSD, depression, diabetes...
That's when I decided to start yet another business helping people.
Starting my own business and going against the grain of public opinion, again, was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I had no confidence in myself back then and the opinions of others really got to me and made me doubt my every move--until God worked in my heart so that I didn't care what they thought anymore.
I made a lot of mistakes, because I never found a mentor or a coach to guide me, except the once who charged thousands of dollars that didn't really provide any help at all.
I persevered and with time and practice my business - writing books, training successful entrepreneur after successful entrepreneur. I started to help others succeed, which built my confidence.
But it was still and income of peanuts.
I went back to work and found a company that believed in investing in the future of their employees and educating them. I was good at what I did. I was helping people daily. But it wasn't mine, and it was low-wage, and didn't pay what I was worth.
My wife went back to school to become a nurse. We started to climb out of poverty.
I still dreamed of being my own boss, helping people, and I couldn't let it go. There was more to life than a steady, low-wage paycheck.
But you know what? I was a lot happier. So was my wife.
My communication with God was a lot better, too. I could actually hear His voice and understand his direction!
Then my wife had two car accidents and could no longer work, and those, "What's wrong with you that this keeps happening" conversations came again.
I followed what most people said and it got me nothing.
I ignored the traditional path and the voices of most people, and following God's dream in my heart put me on a path of freedom, satisfaction and meaning.
This is why I want a stuffed lion in my house: to be a reminder to ignore the opinions of most people and to challenge the public opinion of what's considered "right" and "wrong".
I began praying with some seasoned senior businessmen, who invited me and believed in God's vision and plan for me. God showed and told them things I'd only spoken to my wife and screamed into the darkness.
They helped rebuild my hope.
(The Good Stuff is Next!)
So how can you apply this to your life right now?
How can you use my story to make a positive change like I did?
Well...as promised, here are THE 7 MOST IMPORTANT STEPS YOU CAN TAKE TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE NOW:
- Don't be afraid to do something different or go against the path that society and friends/family want for you. Your life is your own and who cares what others think. Make God's opinion more important than theirs: Isaiah 55:8-9; James 1:2-5 and Philippians 4:4-7 emphasize several truths we need to know and be reminded of
- Understand that madness is more common in crowds than individuals. Just because everybody's doing it, doesn't mean it's the right thing to do. The Bible shows us the follow of following them right here: Matthew 7:13
- Question the unquestioned and hold nothing sacred in your pursuit (except your love of God). Some of the best discoveries come from questioning things nobody has dared to question. Proverbs 25:2
- Ask yourself this question everyday: What is something you believe to be true that nobody else agrees with you on? "There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death" (Proverbs 14:12 NIV)
- If you're following a path of your own and trying something new, avoid the critics and the naysayers. No great discovery comes without criticism, let it galvanize you. "Because of Me, naysayers and doubters will try to make an example out of you by trying you before rulers and kings. When this happens—when you are arrested, dragged to court—don’t worry about what to say or how to say it. The words you should speak will be given to you. For at that moment,it will not be you speaking; it will be the Spirit of your Father speaking through you." Matthew 10:18-20 The Voice (VOICE)
- Put something controversial in your house, office or bedroom to remind you to think differently and avoid conforming to the opinion of others. Need inspiration? Click Here
- Develop a strong prayer life! The best inspiration comes from God's Spirit guiding your thoughts and actions. If you don't know where to start. Click Here.
I hope this helps you on your journey!
Did you find this story valuable?
If so, keep reading!
Are you feeling stuck where you are?
I put together a FREE teaching series showing you exactly how I made the transformation from depressed with little direction, while working a prestigious job that I hated, to living a life my I and my family love!
You can get a FREE teaching HERE!
Most people wouldn't click the link and get the FREE teaching...
Are you most people?
Work With Me
You don't have to stay stuck where you are!
More importantly… I'm willing to show you how you can overcome the voices holding you back even faster than I did by applying methods I learned from my journey (HINT: it helps to have someone Coach You).
I train entrepreneurs and non-profit founders.
I consult for corporations and non-profits in crisis and transition.
And this is for anyone who feels spiritually or emotionally a wreck, wretched and stuck in life.
- Help you gain fresh perspective
- Become more aware of your goals
- Help get direction
- Find purpose
- Get accountability
- Increase your motivation to change
How hiring me benefit you?
If you feel stuck or blocked...
If you're unsure of your next step...
You want to make changes...
If you need spiritual direction and encouragement...
What hiring me will mean?
My support will be personalized to fit your goals. Here are the areas I can provide the most support:
- What do you need to fix, improve, or starting your business/non-profit?
- Work-life balance
- Spirituality
- Work performance
- Career goals
- Procrastination & productivity
- Getting motivated
- Finding your purpose
- Prioritization
- Educational goals
If you're ready to start, make an appointment by going to my booking site, where you can easily book your first 30-minute appointment.
What you'll Get
The first step is yours to make.
Make an appointment by going to my booking site , where you can easily book your first appointment.
Get Unstuck in Your Life Now Session. This session is to give us a chance to meet one another and “kick the tires,” so to speak. This first meeting gives me the opportunity to hear your story and evaluate whether or not I believe I can help you, given my set of skills and what you are looking for. This same first meeting gives you the opportunity to ask me questions and get a feeling for what I offer and whether I will be the right coach for you. At that first meeting, we will review, and perhaps sign, a coaching agreement that outlines such things as confidentiality and initial goals. If, during our first 30-minute session, we agree to move ahead in a coaching relationship...
A typical 50-minute session goes like this: In the context of your goals we have a conversation. It’s not a therapy session. It’s a coaching session, meaning that I won’t just sit there and let you drone on. I’ll be in conversation with you — asking you clarifying questions, helping you hear and see yourself, help you define your goals, often challenging your thinking. Remember — we are working on your goals, and moving you forward. At the end of the session, we will agree on your homework — what you will accomplish before our next session.
After your session, I will send you notes reminding you of what we discussed and what you agreed to work on.
There may be reading and writing. I may suggest supplemental texts to move you toward your specific goals.
You will have homework, with 1-5 specific items. The point of our work is to move you forward, which is going to take work on your part.
During the time between sessions, I may check up on you to encourage you, and you are free to be in touch with me by email or text, within reason, to clarify or get help with what you are working on or struggling with.
I meet with my clients every other week. Time gaps of more than two weeks tend to seriously decrease the effectiveness of our coaching relationship.
Commitment. I require a commitment of 6-12 months to be completely confident that you are 100% on track with your goals. Shorter or Longer commitments can be negotiated on an "as needed basis."
Testimonials
“TOV Rose is a man of GOD. He is a hard worker and his results promise not to disappoint. I recommend this man and his work to the fullest.” ~ Elizabeth Bennett, M.Ed. Author, Speaker and Consultant
“TOV is an incredibly talented and gifted man full of love and compassion for his fellow man. He is a trusted friend who always has time to spend encouraging and giving balanced advice. His love of family and his love of God is apparent in his life through the way he lives and by the way he chooses to serve those who usually have trouble finding people to trust due to their high visibility. Be blessed and get to know this amazing man!” ~ Robert Fick, President at Cross Cultural Communications
“It would be very easy to pen a glowing recommendation of TOV, for he is a wonderfully gifted, gregarious and caring visionary with a wide record of achievements. Instead, permit me to say that to know TOV is to love TOV. If you have the opportunity to work with him, count your blessings. I can think of no higher endorsement for this remarkable human being, colleague, family man, true believer and friend. His is a steady shop with a shining light in an ocean of struggling souls!” ~ Jimmy Holloway, Senior Managing Partner at Star Harbor Investments & Star Harbor Films
“I have had the pleasure of knowing Tov for over a year and have found him dedicated, loyal and trustworthy. A skilled communicator, he has excellent rapport with people of all ages and backgrounds. Tov is always there to give support, encouragement and impartial, non-judgmental advice and handles difficult situations with thoughtfulness, tact and genuine sympathy. Intelligent and capable, he is a valuable asset to any community or team.” ~ Jen Govey, Motion Pictures: Film Consultant & Screenwriter
Ready To Start?
Make a 50-minute appointment by going to my booking site where you can easily book your first appointment.
Why Not NOW?
Many of us procrastinate. We all come up with reasons it isn't a good time to do something that will make our lives better in the long run. I get it. I've done it. I've been there. The words of other spoken over you most of your life are playing in your head when they're not even with you. Imagine how your life might be different in a few short months...?
If you're tired of being where you are, then
Make an appointment by going to my booking site , where you can easily book your first 50-minute appointment and we'll see if we're a good fit to work together.
You must be logged in to post a comment
