The Customer Always Comes First?

Not long ago someone I know took a second job at the local area in-door shopping mall selling high calorie pastries at a popular shop found in malls and terminals in many big cities. The employee was someone I’ve known for many years and had a great reputation for being dependable, a hard worker who was loved by customers and really lived by the adage, “The Customer Always Comes First.”

What Happened?

It was the typical story of a blue-collar manager with the “Jerry Springer Guest” world-view.

The manager had LOTS of experience in management, but came from a background filled with abuse. This person was abused sexually as a child, abused as a spouse, abused by friends, abused drugs and alcohol, abuse after abuse, and then more abuse. Believe it or not, a majority of people today have some sort of abuse experience they can point to that negatively shaped their lives. Everyone touches and shapes the life of someone else (and managers shape the lives of those they manage), and that shaping can be for better or for bad.

“Jerry Springer Guest” manager had several positive management role-models in their employment history, but couldn’t overcome the “default mode” of abuse that was learned through past experiences and became part of their psyche. This forty-plus year old person would only develop relationships with young, immature (often High School age), kids, and listen to gossip and advice from those with said High School immaturity—and act on it in decision making. What they usually had in common were the cigarettes or drugs they all used, or else came to the manager for relationship advice, because the person was “cooler than my parents.” Cool doesn’t always mean—wisdom.

Sounds like the makings of a horror story, eh?

Let’s just say that my good friend didn’t survive the hot 19 year old blonde’s gossip (as a side note, I like to define gossip as, “Murder with the Tongue”). After all, who was the 40 year old manager going to believe? My friend who had known and worked with this manager several times over 20 years or the immature gossiper who had a reputation around the mall for getting people fired?

In case you might be wondering, most managers in restaurant and mall settings seem to fall into the general category of “bad managers.” Why? They never had a good Role Model, or else they simply couldn’t overcome the “default mode.” It is amazing that something so simple could be such a great mystery facing most leaders in corporate leadership and the badly trodden down underlings known as “employees”

Most “bad managers” aren’t very good because they haven’t had any training, and when they do have training they haven’t learned to change their “default mode” when stressed.

Stress = Default Mode.

The “default mode” usually comes from Family and upbringing, and other bad experiences with key people in your life. Most families are dysfunctional. Most families have secrets, and most families have some form of abuse going on. Children imprint on their strongest example, for better or worse. As human beings, we tend to take on the dominant traits of the people who have HURT US. In other words, for most people, your “default mode” is based on your negative experiences, not your good experiences.

I know there are lots of people out there suddenly in denial of this basic principle of Human Nature. So many of us are trained to “look on the bright side,” “give the benefit of the doubt,” and all that other positive spiritual mumbo-jumbo, but the truth can be told in low-level (and mid-level and high level), jobs across the world.

If you don’t believe me, just go take an informal poll at your local McRestaurant.

Back to the original statement, “The customer always comes first?” This is a BAD premise for building customer loyalty and business practice. If the customer comes first, where does that leave your employees? Good managers (or those who have overcome the “default mode”), know this to be true:

If you treat your employees with respect, kindness and teach them the by example of integrity, then your employees will “imprint” on you. They will reflect what you are showing them and that reflection will be seen by your customers.

Your customers will want to be around such employees. They will keep coming back.

So, what comes first? You.

Change your default mode.